One Understanding Cat
What just happened? Ayu wondered, staring absent-mindedly at the TV, which was turned off.
She was back at her house, laying silently on her bed. But the events of the last night were still flashing wildly in her mind: they drank milkshakes, they cuddled
she got flustered (and reasonably so) and immediately decided to go to sleep, insisting that they slept in different rooms. She left in a hurry the next day, and with her clothes already packed she didnt have to waste too much time hanging around the living room in that uncomfortable situation. She didnt even have a chance to say goodbye to Kazumi, who was in the bathroom when she left, obviously mulling over what she did.
Whats happened here? she asked herself again. This just started out as some little idea. A little idea to gain weight. And now
She missed the early days, when all she had to worry about was eating as much as she could. How easy and carefree those days were. All she would do was eat, rub her bulging belly afterwards, stare at her growing figure in the mirror, and then sometimes secretly admire Kazumis; nothing serious or anything, just a small glance or two when she wasnt looking. Back then those weird little feelings didnt mean anything, back then it was just standard procedure.
Now there were definite feelings. Things she couldnt just ignore, put off. They were definitely there, staring her in the face.
And Kazumi! Ayu groaned and covered her face with her pillow. Now she was in on it! Before, it was just Ayu who had these feelings. Now Kazumi was having them too, apparently. It wouldve been a lot easier to ignore them if it was only her; it couldve been overlooked as some kind of
mix of hormones caused by all this weight gain or something.
But nope. No such luck. There was no avoiding the decision she had to make now: continue on with the weight gain and act like it never happened
or pursue it.
She looked outside the window; there was a storm going on outside. It looked like that nice weekend weather didnt last for long.
She was so preoccupied with herself that she didnt even notice Momo slowly trudging in, swinging her tail around and purring lazily. Even by the time she did realize the presence of her cat, it wasnt until she actually jumped on her bed and snuggled up to her warm, cushy love handles.
Not now, she said, trying to brush her away, to no avail. This really isnt the time.
The stubborn cat didnt budge. In fact, she got en even closer, nuzzling even deeper into her still-small layer of soft fat.
Despite the great level of stress she was dealing with, this slight action made her giggle to herself.
Stop! she said, forcefully pushing her away. I need to think here!
That time, Momo seemed to take the hint, and she casually jumped onto the floor, arched her back, and headed for the door.
What am I gonna do, Momo? Ayu sighed, halting the cat dead in its tracks. I
I dont know what Im doing anymore.
She shook her head. I might be falling in love with Kazumi. There, I said it. After holding in those words for so long, finally saying them brought an odd feeling of confirmation, as though everything shes felt up until then was summed up perfectly in that one sentence. But that in itself, the fact that it didnt make her feel upset, troubled her. She just said she could be IN LOVE with her best friend! Why didnt it bother her a lot more?!
How did this happen? she asked, seeing as Momo hadnt left yet; . When did this happen? WHY did this happen? Its like it just
exploded into this thing. I mean, one minute I make one teeny-tiny decision to gain a little bit of weight, and the next minute, Im a lesbian. Oh, dear God, Im a LESBIAN!! she shouted, slamming her head on her mattress.
This little outburst frightened Momo slightly, causing her to jump, but she stayed there. Albeit, she backed a little further away from the bed.
Is this what all those weird little feelings were earlier? she continued. Those times when Kazumi rubbed my belly, all those little glances at her when she wasnt looking
Did that all lead to this? It would make sense
But those were little innocent things! They werent supposed to be anything big!
Momo eased a little closer to the bed, and, with grace, jumped on the bed next to her owner.
Maybe its not that big of a deal. I mean, so what if we kissed? Im sure people have been through this same thing before. We can just
go on like it never happened. Its not like I have to pursue it or anything. We could just put it off as some little mistake. No biggie. It doesnt need to mess up the whole friendship.
There was a small moment of silence, interrupted only by the cats soft purring, followed by some more ranting. Oh, who am I kidding? she lamented, pulling her knees close into her body. This kind of stuff doesnt happen every day. And when it does, it almost always leads to something.
Momo slowly swished her tail from side to side, idly waiting for her owner to continue. It was a surprisingly long silence, however, and for what seemed like the longest time, the two just sat there, staring at the wall.
Ayu took a deep breath, And then, she breathed, pulling her knees even closer, theres the other option
I dont know if I can think about it, Momo, she said, petting the cat absent-mindedly. If we tried
and it didnt work
Well, we couldnt go back to being friends. Itd be way too awkward
Oh my God! Im talking about dating my best friend! she exploded again, causing Momo to jump in surprise, but stay she stayed rooted to the bed.
going out with each other
and one of them is me
Id be a lesbian, she said, shivering.
So what? she suddenly heard herself say. She was so surprised at this little outburst that she actually had to look around the room to make sure that she was the one who said it.
So what? she continued, suddenly taking a whole new side of the argument. So what if we started going out? I wouldnt be the end of the world, would it? No! Other people have do it, and it works out for them. Itd just be a normal relationship, between two normal people, who happen to like each other. So what if its two girls? Cant two girls like each other without it being a big deal? I mean, it would be a lot easier to go out with someone I already know personally than start dating some random stranger.
This should have caused her to yell again. Not only was she talking about dating Kazumi, her best friend, but she was actually considering it. But for some reason, it didnt bother her that much. Until then, she had just been focusing on the negative aspects of it, never looking on the positives. And there were some positives, shed just been freaking out so much that she never even began to think about them. But now that she was, it seemed to calm her down enough to look at it rationally, instead of bursting into a fit of panic.
But still, she was nervous talking about it. Well, what would happen if we did decide to
start going out? she wondered aloud, sitting up straight. Would we keep it secret? How much would it change the friendship? Would we go on actual dates? What about telling Mom? Shes had enough to think about with all this weight gain. How would she handle it?
Ayu shook her head again. Im not even sure if were gonna go through with this. What does Kazumi have to say about it? I mean, she was the one who kissed me, so shes had to have had it on her mind at one point or another. She might not want to do anything with this. She might regret it. I mean, she seemed pretty embarrassed afterwards. Maybe
the whole thing was just some sort of spur-the-moment mistake. The setting was pretty much begging for romance anyway
The romantic movie, the dark lighting, the milkshakes, the cuddling
I was pretty much asking for it. Or maybe she was asking for it?
I need to talk to her, she said, getting out of the bed, get this whole thing straightened out. See you later, Momo. Thanks for the talk, she added before leaving, giving the cat an absent-minded pat on the head.
Momo watched her owner walk out of the room in confusion, laying her head down once she was out of view. Sometimes, these little talks took a lot out of her.
Kazumi sat back in her chair, silently watching TV, not really paying attention to what was on. She, too, was preoccupied with last night. However, unlike her friend, she didnt have a cat, or anyone, to talk to. All she could to was think about it.
And if she was panicking, she could barely imagine how Ayu was dealing with it. Kazumi was the one that jumped her. And she definitely seemed freaked out that morning.
Looking back, she wasnt sure what she was thinking. Why did she do it? Obviously she regretted it, even though it felt right at the time. Ayu was the one who brought it up with all that, you said anyone, stuff. It mustve been part of the mood or something. But she did it, and now there was nothing left to do but
actually, there wasnt anything she could do: she couldnt call Ayu, that would be to awkward; she couldnt wait for Ayu to call, because she didnt know if shed call at all; she couldnt even eat, she was freaking out so much!
And even in the panic
There was something stuck on her mind: the possibility of
continuing on with it. She tried to ignore it, but she just couldnt. It was part of the reason she kissed her in the first place. Just
the image of them actually
going out. It didnt seem to bother her as much as she wish it did. At one point she actually wanted it to happen; just get all this awkwardness out of the way, and admit that there was in fact something there. It didnt last long, but it did have a pretty lasting effect on her.
So all she did was sit there, staring at the TV, contemplating the situation she was in. She figured that they should give each other distance until school started up again, after theyve had enough time to decide what to do. They could get their heads straight, and sort everything out the next time they see each other. All she had to do was calm down and avoid her friend for a while.
After so long of barely listening to the TV, this sudden burst of sound surprised her. She looked over at the phone timidly, not quite sure if she should pick it up or not. What if it was Ayu? What would she say?
She took a deep breath, crossed her fingers, and picked up the phone, hoping it was someone else. Hello?
Kazumi? a nervous Ayu replied on the other end.
Truthfully, Kazumi almost considered hanging up. She didnt want to talk about it. It took all (well, most) of her willpower not to slam the phone down on the receiver and acting like it never happened.
Yeah? she answered, just as shyly.
About last night
have you been thinking about it?
Ive been thinking about it too
Could we talk about it?
Kazumi glanced out the window for a moment, noticing that the rain was actually slowing down quite a bit.
Okay, she responded, after a pause. Shoot.